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</html>";s:4:"text";s:27030:"After I grew up and had some relationships with people who were actually normal, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Watch Queue Queue Regrets are useless (spoken from experience). It depends on ur definition of somewhere and nowhere?! Image Opinion News. They’re sensitive to the feelings of others, easy to be around, and rarely if ever argue. That is what happened to us. It was mainly because my mom refused to let me make my own decisions, and she/herself could not say no when my friend's mom asked to her to tell me to do whatever at church. I am extremely nice. Lost my life through being too nice and I think people may well see me as not nice as I am frustrated and angry by how many times people target us nice people to milk for what they can get . Life is win-win as much as possible. That leaves me with relationships. Sometimes even when you're nice to people they seem to throw it back in your face unless you are friends with them. And the context matters. And honestly I'd rather be relaxing when I have the chance. I did not think there were that many big human insights i was going to get a front seat to at my age and history in life, but alas. being nice gets you nowhere. Itâs better to start than to live a life of regret. She caterwauled hysterically and noisily, and it wasn't 15 minutes after I got home, my phone started ringing with my brothers and sisters demanding to know what I "did to Ma." People are people. * Be a wise person* Be a wealthy person* Be a successful person* Be a purposeful [â¦] This life and the whole world is going to be destroyed by God anyway...so losing out something or everything in this life for being nice (towards God and his rights firstly, and what comes from that...) is not a loss... 87:16. She toadies up to almost anyone, including those who would hurt her children. I can change and stop being attractive, funny and friendly, but I don't want to because this part I enjoy. This video is unavailable. #ugh that's so fucking soppy #I hate everything and everyone right now #do not get involved with boys #being nice gets you nowhere #you can't reply to a message after two days with sorry been busy #just don't start the conversation #I'm so angry and â¦ "You have to understand" she would say, while foisting adult issues off on us. Spend your time with people who only make you feel better about yourself, and donât make you compromise any part of yourself in order to keep them in your life. And being rude, despicable and obnoxious do? Because no one respects nice people!. by bitchisthenewnice July 29, 2013. Then again speak up. I will not date you. She was a strong ally- took a couple years all together. Instead of replying instantly with what â¦ How Well Can Dog Owners Predict Their Dog's Behavior? I would be practicing all kinds of "lines" and facial expressions and what not. The dearest of you to me is he who is the best of you in manners. but not all or even most. This is where your common sense comes in. Seeing him crying made me feel like a monster, and I was tormented by a feeling of guilt that ate at my soul for years. The most (important) things that cause people to reach Heaven are divine piety and a good temper. If it's too difficult to say no in person, call and leave a voicemail, or send a text. Reno Omokri is of the opinion that being nice doesnât get people anywhere. Go. I am 60 now and for 2 years have been in the "Later-life regrets" stage. According to him, being nice leads to âuselessness.â He stated this in a post shared on his IG page. My mother thinks she is the "nicest" person in the world. 2-those critters you adore so much more than your own speices would not be so endearing to you if they could speak to you in your language and criticize, disagree or hold you accountable in any way at all. Pushover. rude or aggressive people never go far in life, neither those who fake being nice, they are the worse passive aggresive Regards, 10 years ago. If you're nice people use you as a doormat. not sure about med onc. How about trying to focus on being honest and kind instead of "nice? And if depression, anxiety, and addiction aren’t strong enough to keep those non-polite feelings at bay, you are likely at risk for acting out, through the one-night stand on a business trip, going on a binge, going into a hurricane-like rage at your kid, your dog, or your gentle, but always-absent-minded coworker. ", "Ha! And it doesn't bother me in the least. This is an excellent follow up to #27. A values-driven life comes out of your values, your core beliefs as an adult of how to be with others. You cut down trees to build homes, for fuel, and you end up with no trees left, and you have to move on. My friend's mom said that they could drive, but it quickly turned into could my mom pick them up and drive us. Being nice can most certainly get you places. No one has any grace anymore, it's a one and done deal. 1- yes, some people are awful. Please give a short answer of Why, too. Being STRONG is often confused with being a jerk. Paul Meehl talked about this 45 years ago in a famous paper. That was very deep and brutally honest. Close relationships can lack depth. If youâre diabetic you know that these words have all kinds of meanings attached. The byproduct of these emotional crunches are often depression, anxiety, and addiction. Being courteous and polite to people is what we used to call "common decency"....that seems in short supply today. . And that people who publicly make a big deal of coming off as nice may be hiding something. âIm back to being a savage again, being nice gets you nowhere in life.â I’ve also been working on it for years and see being too nice as only a symptom of the underlying root problem of trying to learn what I really feel and knowing how to show that in a healthy manner. You have this critical, scolding drill-sergeant/parent voice coming at you all the time, looking over your shoulder, wagging its finger. Until the pressure builds up, and the right stress-triggers set you off. There are many roads to prosperity, but one must be taken. Being agreeable to the exclusion of honesty, competency, thoroughness, independent professional judgment, and transparency in medical treatment is just a disaster waiting to happen. Don’t just sweep the binge or the burnout or the passive-aggressiveness under the rug, but instead use them as red flags that you are being over-responsible, that you are neglecting your own needs. If we were not blood related, she is not someone I would have anything to do with at all,  not in a million years. It gets you Paradise. 04. According to him, people can be successful, â¦ ... flaws like this was one of the reasons why self-reflection and self-development became such an important thing in my life. The most complete of believers in Imaan (faith) are those who are best in character. the list goes on and on. Because kindness, like all the virtues.. gives you the peace of mind. could never get to the factor the place he ought to sense the perfect to admit any emotions for you. Yesterday for me was a brutal combination of way too low followed by a massive intake of food (the low inhalation) which, unsurprisingly, was followed by way too high . Too many of us don't say anything in case conferences and in ideas forums about bad ideas for fear of offending or especially because of fear of being accused of lacking compassion. I don't conciously decide to be nice . How Narcissists Keep Their Mates From Leaving or Cheating, Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Say “Thank You” for Maximum Effect, Being honest to others is being honest to oneself, Reply to Anthony Vaughan (messagesfromme_llv), Quote Anthony Vaughan (messagesfromme_llv), Agreeableness is killing medicine and psychology, I wish it were true that niceness always works but. Look, if you don't want to feel inadequate due to your narcissistic, unforgiving, pessimistic construct of what is you, then just ignore it. I am annoyed tonight beucase it seems that all this niceness gets me nowhere. I've said it elsewhere, but one can no longer be both agreeable and conscientious at the same time in this field. being nice gets you nowhere. I was too nice, too there for her, look where it got me! 2. 99K likes. If you are nice and people are rotten that is their problem. 6 Aug 2008 #21 Mel said: I do the same. Being agreeable to medical middleman has absolutely destroyed the economics and practice of medicine. i have found great comfort in exploring in great depth the Myers Briggs Personality types . u r among the few ppl I know from old times! Does being 'nice' get you anywhere? Here's the payoff - I don't carry negative stuff, I'm not passive aggressive and what you see, is what you get. Robert Zoellick. What you mean when you say you want to meet a nice guy is that you want to meet a guy who needs you to take care of him. Being nice seems to get you nowhere. Mr. Musk lots years of his life dealing with Model X production issues. But is this really true? Although the Hereafter is better and more lasting. That poor 100-year-old woman who regretted eating too many beans and not enough ice cream. You canât have that. The anxiety-driven life, on the other hand, makes being nice a way of managing anxiety. I see and I remember. In a situation when I am a magnet of attention, being funny and friendly, men mistake it for a personal invitation. A promise I have kept to myself for more than 40 years strong. What goes a long way to being nice is that you're more likely to blame yourself than anyone else: It’s your fault, you should have known better, you did something that caused the other person to act the way they did, though you really have no idea what that may be. When she is off now I feel better in the room even though she is a good coworker when there. There is a difference between being assertive & being snotty or rude. Thanks. It may be exhaustion, or it may be getting sick or sinking into the depths of severe depression. If they were also gorgeous, that would be mentioned before the niceness. You need to learn to be assertive & get what you need for yourself. Hi all, i feel like a good auld rant, i have noticed over the past while that being nice and helpful gets you nowhere in this world. Long story short, she eventually pulled that same crap on everyone, we got together and compared notes, ganged up on her, and refused to play her game after that. Not much, you say. My guess is those that are like my brother and male cousins aren't like that so much. If you wanted to make self centered, insecure vanity lovers happy, this is the article for them. There are few things in life that are absolute. my experience today in the radiation oncology clinic brought me here tonight. Being Kind Gets You Nowhere. At the end of the day people respect polite but firm honesty more than pushovers. Now that doesnt mean it still won't hurt and feel uncomfotable ... but I truly feel that as long as I am doing it for honest reasons then those honest reasons are enough. A build-up of resentment can often fuel the acting out, but sometimes it’s just a slow and ever-present simmer that you internalize along with everything else. I was kind, and most will say I am,  after all these years. I've learned a lot about myself and others by studying the Enneagram, a personality-typing system. You bring up somerihg I had not given thought to. I would love to help ... please expand on your thoughts. If I need emotional support, I have family and/or can hire a therapist, as that is not the physicians/dentist purpose in my life. What that means is that I am too nice. Slow down to realize how you really feel. :) Answer Save. Itâs nice to feel wanted, but you can feel wanted and not feel needed at the same time. Fine be honest, but don't be an ass because you think you should be "more you" and less "nice. So, maybe there are days when you feel like youâre going nowhere and you donât fit in and life has no point. Why? Use your symptoms as tools to let you know when you’re overextended. 'Its her personality'. People often confuse nice with weak. I am often thinking about what the too nice people are saying and why. That is easy and antiseptic enough to do my part. There is goodness in this world and people who are good and not everyone who appears overly nice is wearing a facade to hide some inner-darkness. The barriers are too high and too thick for me to crack. How about trying to focus on being honest and kind instead of "nice?" First Prev 2 of 3 Go to page. As Iggy Pop says: "I love my friend, he gives me honesty". Being an introvert makes life a little more challenging in a world that embraces and rewards extroversion. i get treated better in restaurants because im nice. This became a habit and it lead to my mom ordering me to do just about everything at church with my friend without once considering my feelings. Essentially I am convinced that these medicore people (in most cases women) cover their weakness in the garb of their aggressiveness, bossiness, nastiness, bitchiness etc etc Or do you disagree? Here you don’t say no, you don’t speak up and be honest and assertive, because of your own fear. Just eating. Next Last. And not much that therapy can do, either. There are many varieties of each flavor, so there can be no single answer to the question, Humble people will appreciate you and be grateful for what you do. The burnout may sideline you for a while, but once you recover, you're quickly back on duty. being nice gets you nowhere. And with those words, all the things you promised me turned to nothing. I spent 13 years in Catholic school, so itâs been somewhat ingrained in me to be respectful and kindâlove one another as you wish to be loved, you know? What’s not to like? Reno Omokri Former presidential aide and socio-political commentator, Reno Omokri has shared his opinion on why people should learn not to be nice. So I will be stuck with this trait, good or bad, happy or sad. So do you think the saying is true that "being nice gets you nowhere"? (50 Posts) Add message | Report. No one could be that shallow, right? 07. It's time to not just apologize or recover, but again speak up. You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.â â Pubilius Syrus. This is a hole I'm still climbing out of. It's truly a great tool for self-growth. Being, nice or tolerant of others misbehavior  or rudeness has its own rewards and promotes the same in others. 28. âI hear and I forget. Soâ¦I started working on it, I started with thinking before I spoke. Through seemingly endless soul-searching, I adopted the traits, fore-mentioned in Robert Taibbi's "The Dangers of Being Nice", to the point where it became over-kill. I love this topic! My solution is to characterize myself as an generally an asshole. :). ... You can accomplish by being kind what you cannot by force.â â Pubilius Syrus. Sis, i understand where you are coming through.. it depends who the people are.. but i agree and disagree.. if u want to know more just email me :D ★ ☆ ✰. Now that is has been about 6 months it is all starting to come together. being nice is ALWAYS a good thing, it shows you have good manners, which gets you paces. I am immediately suspicious of people who seem to be too nice, their fakeness seriously grates on my nerves, and won't have anything to do with them. I like to consider myself a nice person but you are right on the volunteer dept. Everyday is a new day. You have a blessed and lovely day". They’re sensitive to the feelings of others, easy to be around, and rarely if ever argue.". One night, you slip in and out of his window and a few days go by and he's found dead in his own home. Too nice? 05. He keeps to himself, and gets lost in his artwork, just trying to survive the day. And if both partners are nice, the effects are multiplied, resulting in a no-conflict but superficial relationship. All Topics Topic Family & People Relationships » Being nice seems to get you nowhere. Life is win-win as much as possible. There are also lots of ways that you â¦ All Good. Talking about personality first is kind of tell and it doesn't just work against women. ! Those things happen when you lack other personality traits like self-respect. JTS, your comment is spot on, points to pretty seasoned reading of human nature. How Many People Have Ever Had a Threesome? thank you press ganey and politeness for the sake of staying fat and happy. What hog wash. Being nice gets you nowhere - literally! There are new lessons I learn about people and their behaviour. There are new lessons I learn about people and their behaviour. You can be polite & nice and still set boundaries & make your wishes known in a proper (well-mannered or nice) way. Boy howdy, did all hell break loose. His mannerism was extremely serious. The whole truth and nothing but the truth, good, bad and ugly, to the best of his/her abilities. When you look at the other people in your life, there are lots of ways that you are the same. Being nice takes very little energy and then actually gives you a more energy. Niceness and Kindness do not mean the same thing to most people. I found it very helpful - when I complained that I just could not say to a man - no, I'm not interested in dating in general and him in particular in a straightforward way or just plain clear-and-cut 'no', I was offered this role playing. You don't have a history. being a nice guy gets you nowhere (dates, wives, boyfriend) ... work hard, and be nice. Being nice to people doesn't mean you give in to everyone's whims, that's a pushover. They always give others the benefit of the doubt, are ready to give a hand, or volunteer for that task that no one wants. When you feel anger, irritation, or resentment, use it as information telling you what you need, what you don’t like, what you may want. Life Knowledge Die. I broke my best friend's arm as a kid, while we were imitating WWF wresters on a trampoline. My life has been a quest for knowledge and understanding, and I am nowhere near having achieved that. So, unfortunately (maybe it was not a best line), but it came down to "No.  One becomes good by finding the good that naturally exists in you and acting upon it." It's your personality. As long as you keep your own boundaries these traits can be fine. They can say no, but they choose to help if they can. a man or woman of integrity would not take calls from HIM. My mouth opens and offers of help or what ever come out with out my consent lol ahhh Being an extravert their is no filter that says hold on a moment , is that a good idea what about what you need to do today etc . I tell my physician and dentist I don't need him to be nice, I need competency and directness, no sugar coating. The problem with this evil world that we live in, is that there are not enough nice people in it. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old being nice quotes, being nice sayings, and being nice proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. If you want a better, happier life, all you have to do is get started. Her children are two-dimensional props, who exist for no other purpose on her stage on which she puts on her big act. Being nice gets you nowhere - literally! My mother always wanted to be nice to everyone and to always do whatever I had to do to accommodate others, even if it meant not wanting to. If you wanna get anywhere in life you need to be nice, and be able to communicate and relate with people without being a doormat. I would have so much more respect for the person who told me. Favorite Quotes Best Quotes Love Quotes Funny Quotes Inspirational Quotes Truth Quotes Awesome Quotes Motivational â¦ . But after some time working on it (and still working on it) i have learned it's all about balance. Balance being caring towards other's needs and feelings BUT don't disregard your own. READ ALSO: Ladies Born After 1993 Only Know How To Twerk And Be Bis*xual â Singer Trey Songz Starts War As controversial as it may sound, Reno Omokri has given debatable reasons why an [â¦] Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Everyday is a new day. The whole issue boils down to the fact that one is not comfortable with the 'uneasiness' any discomforting, irritating situation creates within one. I was cripplingly shy as a child/young adult, to the point of feeling stupid and unworthy for even daring to occupy the same social space as anyone else. We are taught that behind every smile there is an ulterior motive. Are your compliments and nice gestures always rejected? * Be a wise person * Be a wealthy person * Be a successful person * Be a purposeful person * Be a principled person Be anything, but donât be nice. 99K likes. Being nice to some people gets you Absolutely nowhere . We were a team. For a society with a vast amount of anti-bullying groups and calls to action we repeatedly bully, judge and harass others through tweets, posts etc. Messages 595. Being Kind Gets You Nowhere. I have been researching it closely. Unusual promise, but if it works for you. Be honest. But along with this, you can say no, take care of yourself as well as others, be assertive and honest without being aggressive and hurtful. Before, I did not think it was "nice" (or rather "polite") to say "no" in a such harsh manner. Can you expand on when you say " I find it impossible to actually take any of the steps suggested? i wish the spouse unearths out and dumps you the two. Nay, you prefer the life of this world; 87:17. He fled his country when the Soviet Union took it over. They made you feel guilty for thinking about your own needs and wants. I agree with what you said there. Heck, she even knocks herself out to help them. Because if u nice u get great friend and get nice jobs and meet new people. Let's not confuse being nice with being weak. Alex Trebek. It seems to come out of nowhere, you feel terribly guilty, you apologize profusely, you promise never to do that ever again . People, who are courteous, help others and have empathy...might also be harboring all these other issues? (PS if feeding your body kale instead of ice cream is 'nice' instead of a want to stay healthy, and makes you have regrets, then you should learn how to be whatever that is, without declaring it on social media and putting others down to make yourself feel better about being...an ice cream eater) Did not expect any comments referring to nice as fake/phony. But, you can change it, even if just a little. However, when I got into the harsh dating world, I quickly realized that being nice was getting me nowhere with guys, so I stopped playing nice â¦ So, good character can get you far in life, and most importantly, in the hereafter! until you do. Rejection hurts. You do it not because you “should” or because you will feel guilty otherwise, but because it’s your life blueprint. Not to mention the ED guilt that walks along eating like that. If you tell a single woman that a guy she hasn't met is nice, regardless of how much she tells you that that's the most important quality, her immediate thought will be that he must unattractive or weak. And I would do the circles of polite rejection and a man won't understand. Discover and share Being Nice Gets You Nowhere Quotes. You may have heard the saying ânice guys finish last.â People often believe that being kind means you are weak and can be easily taken advantage of. i have gotten really good friends by being nice. If nice is a front for bad feelings and perceptions, then maybe it needs a new word to describe it But when it spills into "misunderstandings", I say what I thought was unthinkable before. Clive Anderson Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? bing assertive is also important as it means you can stand up for yourself in a nice way, without bing a doormat. Take a few deep breaths, pat yourself on the back, and keep moving forward. Search as I might I discovered to my chagrin that she is truly and deeply that one-dimensional. You are face to face with the fundamental uneasiness, fundamental predicament of being human. We are taught that behind every smile there is an ulterior motive. Be part of the largest student community and join the conversation: Being nice gets you nowhere Niceness leads to uselessness! Think of one nice person you respect. It was a ground breaking moment for me. Sorry for the swearing but you can see how many times i nodded him across and how long he took plus he didnt even say thankyou! Nothing ever helps me really understand this unaddressed issue in my life. Get your answers by asking now. Jane probably wouldn’t want to swap out my entire weekend shift, you say to yourself, so instead of asking if she can work the entire weekend for you, you ask her if she can do Saturday. Will I mourn when she is gone? So true Anna. I have been sent is to perfect good manners. Ride Safe!!! I'm not dating. It doesnât matter if you believe yourself to be a slow learner, because if you never start, you never get anywhere. And honestly, the harder I worked and the nicer I became, the more people took advantage of my positive attitude. If you want to be respected, you must stand for something. shinytoe Thu 25-Jul-13 15:01:14. Watch Queue Queue Tatiana: Flattery will get you nowhere with her. How about being yourself? Really? ... a future, â¦ Just get it done. You should not need to protect others from who you are, your thoughts and feelings. Are any Muslims offended, if I claim that two of these drawings are NOT of Mohammad? How do you think about the answers? Or Does It? Understandably for the big things, but what about the little things? I have learnt a valuable lesson. What I have been doing lately when people begin with the rant of 'people are awful, i just lover critters' Listen you have another 30+ years of life to live and while you live those years you need to be able to have a perspective on this topic that fits who you are "which is a kind person" ... so it's not about finding a narrative that works for you! If you're nice people use you as a doormat. Pushover. Is there any way I can get help with this or do you have further recommended reading? I don't care about bedside manner either. that tells me that you're always on the defense, likely read into things that are not there, and always ready to fight because you think the worst of people. If you are assertive and nice, then this victim-internalizing stuff won't happen. You are kind and considerate and see that we are all struggling on this tiny dot of speck in the vast universe; you treat others the way you’d like to be treated. 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